Today I got a message in my inbox from a marketer I admire—a true authority back when Medium was the place to be, and now he’s equally successful on Substack. He’s mastered the art of sharing serious tips for getting traction on both platforms, and he often wraps those tips in personal stories.
His latest article urges readers to “tell more personal stories.”
And I’d say, “Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t.”
I definitely agree that enthusiasm matters. You need to care about what you write.
But not all personal stories will excite your audience. Sometimes, they’ll just find them… weird.
Here are a couple of examples from my own content creation life.
- I’ve written about lessons learned from doing stand-up comedy. But many readers just can’t relate. Some would rather get a root canal than speak in public—let alone do stand-up.
- I also live in a big city and often refer to taking public transportation. I once mentioned riding the #57 bus, and people wrote in to, “What’s the matter? Can’t afford a car?” Truth is, lots of us Philadelphians don’t own cars. It can be more practical—and cheaper—to use Uber or public transportation. But to readers in car-centric places, that reality feels alien.
The truth is, not every story lands.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. There are two types of stories that resonate: aspirational and relational.
Aspirational stories hook readers who think, “I want that for me.” Relational stories work when readers say, “I’ve been there.”
The marketer I mentioned earlier does both. He shares tales of adventure that inspire and stories of struggle that people understand. That’s the sweet spot.
But a savvy audience might respond to some stories with, “That’s nice, but I’d never want to do that,” or “I couldn’t do that even if I tried.” I know people who built businesses by hosting breakfasts for CEOs in their homes or speaking at local bookstores. Not practical anymore, and for some people and places, it never was.
2. Many successful experts don’t share personal stories.
On one podcast episode, I interviewed Robert Middleton. He never talked about his personal life—we didn’t even know if he had one! Was he married? Did he have a dog? No idea.
But he was wildly successful anyway.
Think about it: A criminal lawyer rarely gets licensed if s/e comes from a life of crime. A heart surgeon rarely has experienced a heart attack. And most sports coaches weren’t superstar players.
3. What wins people over isn’t storytelling—it’s credibility you can get from stories.
Credibility can come from outcomes you deliver, the clarity of your message, and how you communicate.
For example, I don’t care how my financial advisor learned his craft. I care that he’s ethical and knows how to make smart decisions with money.
And here’s a caution:
“Do what I did” is popular advice among consultants and coaches. But if they started their businesses ten years ago or had connections you don’t, replicating their path can be a dead end.
Some personal stories sound inspiring but only work because of specific, unrepeatable circumstances. Trying to copy them? That’s not just frustrating—it’s misleading.
Here’s my take:
Some personal stories are best kept… personal.
I’ve written a FREE short report about this very problem: How do you tell stories to an audience that doesn’t resemble you? What if you’re a child-free, cat-loving, single woman in the city—and most of your audience isn’t?
It’s a light-hearted look at a real challenge. And yes, it’s based on a personal story.
